Exit Transtemporal Adventuress
by Samhainix
Summary: Bianca (the final incarnation of Iris Wildthyme) sits waiting in a nightclub on a distant world. For Bianca tonight is the night, tonight is her night. Wait with her as she retraces her steps though the events that lead her to this fateful moment and who knows maybe an incarnation of her favourite Time Lord might pop up to say Goodnight.
1. Chapter 1

Located on the small planet of Larninx Six was a structure that defied most laws of physics, or at least seemed to. The Erebus Fortuna night club was like a giant hourglass suspended in the perpetual night sky but instead of both sides being the same height and width the top part was about half the size of the bottom part.

The top section was for VIPs: presidents, corporate bigwigs and occasionally the odd dirty time agent. The bottom was for the rest of the universe. The rest of the universe with 700 credits in their pocket at least and that's only admission, drinks were double, sometimes triple the price they were at regular bars on neighbouring worlds. Nothing about Erebus Fortuna could be described as "regular" though as the blonde haired woman downing her fifteenth hyper martini knew. She had spent the best part of five years working behind the bar, waiting for this night, waiting her night.

"No freebies Bianca!" A colleague snapped at her from across the bar

"Tell Jim the Fish to take it out of my last pay check" Bianca retorted

Bianca; even though that wasn't really her name had spent thirteen lifetimes travelling the Multiverse. Three of which she had spent saving this universe (almost) sober with just a little tipple after the day was saved. Six she spent surfing the cosmic highway that was love, looking for the right man and always failing. At one point in her life she was a singer that could rival Shirley Bassey and another she was an alcoholic mad woman who wanted nothing more than to get off her head and show the whole Multiverse what she had. One of her "Regenerations" went wrong however and she had regressed into a baby, the very memory of the experience made Bianca shudder.

Every one of her incarnations had such wonderful lives no matter how "dodgy" they started out. They had such brilliant, shining companions. They traversed the entire Multiverse righting wrongs in their beautiful big red bus bound for Putney Common. Then she came along. Bianca couldn't remember the exact details of her last death, it might have had something to do with saving a human version of Panda after he had trapped himself in a radiation jar or that might just be the fifteen hyper martinis talking.

When Bianca was "born" she was born into the name that all of her predecessors had taken "Iris Wildthyme" and the "Mantle" of the Transtemporal Adventuress was bequeathed to her. She travelled for years seeing the wonders of the Multiverse, tasting fine wines and meeting "him" she knew that she was on her final life. Her species could defy death 12 times, 13 incarnations of Iris Wildthyme could be running around fighting foes, winning hearts and having fun and she would be the last. Bianca accepted that this was the natural order of things, she didn't want to end up clutching to life, augmenting her body to change one last time and squandering the precious life that she had left. This however all came to an end on the planet Tersurus where "Iris 13" was tricked and almost killed by an alternate evil version of herself who had contracted a virus known as Dogma and was trying to swap bodies with "Iris 13" The good Iris eventually triumphed over her evil doppelganger but her perception had changed, the lines between good and evil blurred instantly for "Iris 13" as she took her revenge on her alternate.

Deciding that the natural order of things was for the "Lesser Citizens of Creation" Iris gave up her name becoming instead Bianca Zenobia and stripped herself of the moniker of "Transtemporal Adventuress" Crossing her own time line, Bianca set up a plot to trap Iris Wildthyme's Sixth Incarnation (the drunk) and steal her remaining regenerations. It was a unique, inventive solution to Bianca's problem however with the help of "Him" "Iris 6" foiled Bianca's plans and helped save this universe from a threat Bianca had inadvertently unleashed.

Since that day Bianca had met three other Irises, who she tried to steal regenerations from, an incarnation of The Master who she thought was trying to hit on her but was really trying to steal her hand bag and helped a Sontaran Battle Fleet collapse a solar system. With time though even her life of villainy and survival was threatened.

About eleven years ago Bianca felt it for the first time. She was travelling through the vortex in her trusty (albeit stolen) Time Ship, The Valkyrie when the ship started shaking uncontrollably, the readings from the radiation instruments were off the charts. Taking a look outside from the blast windows, Bianca saw something that made her sick to her stomach. Countless abominations were bleeding into the vortex, feasting on raw time energy, the vortex was ripping apart like a tissue. Every cell in Bianca's body was screaming, her people had a close relationship to time and it seemed as though time was dying and it was going to take her with it.

Then Bianca blinked and it was gone, no abominations, no raw time energy, no pain searing through her body. She sat in the cockpit of The Valkyrie for hours wondering what she had just seen. Reliving the brief glimpse of this massive event in her mind over and over again until she made her decision. Whatever she saw was a future event rippling backward through time, it was the end of this universe and it was coming quite soon. The entire experience scared Bianca to the point that she set coordinates for Minyos II in the 51st Century and traded her ship to a black market scientist as payment for a specific piece of technology he was starting to develop. She asked him to contact her once it was completed and she would give him her current location so she could have the tech and he could have the operating codes for The Valkyrie.

The message came about three days ago. "Project: Homecoming complete. Where are you?" Bianca couldn't believe it, she had almost given up hope that she would get her hands on it. She sent the scientist the coordinates and told him to meet her in the Erebus Fortuna night club, he told her that he would reach her in three days and around 1 AM. Bianca checked her watch. 1.52AM, she sighed.

"Oh come on, cheer up!" exclaimed a voice from Bianca's past

The owner of the voice, a middle aged unkempt looking man in a blue jacket and jeans sat down next to Bianca. The last time she saw him in this particular incarnation was centuries ago but back then he was young and dashing, now he looked like a shadow of his former self.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor was casually munching on a fairy cake and treating Bianca like she was just any other person.

"I haven't been in this part of the galaxy for at least a good century" he spoke after he had swallowed the last of his bun "I was planning on going to Selfrax VI, entire continents devoted to amusement, entire cities celebrating carnivals 28 hours a day" he added

Bianca didn't know what to say, she truly didn't expect to see this odd scraggly man. How did he know where she was, had he tracked her, had someone sold her out?

"Of course once I ran into Deverk Jonso things took a bit of a change"

Bianca's hearts skipped a beat. What had he done? What was he going to do? How much did he know?

The Doctor still didn't look her in the eye, to anyone looking this strange eccentric man might have been talking to himself.

"You see the problem with Minyan scientists is, well, they're pretty useless at staying sober once their projects have been completed, always too eager to celebrate"

"What did he tell you?" Bianca spoke a little hoarsely

"There's a woman, he told me, a Time Lord or something of the like, only she's on her last life and apparently, now don't take it as gospel but apparently she hired old Deverk to make her a device that could send her home"

Bianca felt a twinge of something she thought she had shed off lifetimes ago, shame.

"Now that got me thinking you see, if this woman really was a Time Lord or Time Lady even, why wouldn't she just get in her TARDIS and head off home, maybe her TARDIS was lost or destroyed I supposed, but then why wouldn't she just send a message back home that's easy enough, isn't it?"

Bianca wanted to get up and run away, sweat lashing down her face and her hearts beats drumming in her head.

"But then I thought about it, maybe she's not really a Time Lord"

The Doctor finally turned to look at her and Bianca swore she hadn't seen as stern as this in all her lives.

"Maybe she's something entirely different"

"A Clockwork?" Bianca teased half heartily

"Is that what you call yourselves Bianca?"

"How long have you known?"

"That you weren't a Time Lord? My last incarnation worked it out, one terribly dreary night"

"I just wanted to go home, to the place I was created"

"Doesn't sound like you, traded all your plans for surviving death in for a positive attitude and a bag of jelly babies?"

"After seeing what I've seen I have no wish to cheat death, all I want is to go home to Saga City and die of old age surrounded by my senile, old aunties" Bianca replied

"What did you see, what could change someone's mind like that?"

"You haven't seen it then?" Bianca chuckled sadly away to herself "You're missing a show and a half, do have the device?"

The Doctor fished inside his blue coat and eventually produced a bullet shaped object. Bianca held out her hand but The Doctor still wasn't sure about handing the tiny machine over to her.

"How do I know you won't change your mind once you're back in your own universe, how do I know you won't murder and destroy your way into procuring some kind of solution to your problem"

"You've known me for centuries hun, does that really sound like something I'd do"

"I haven't known you for centuries, we've met a grand total of three times, all three you've tried to seduce and kill me" The Doctor paused for a few seconds "I knew Iris Wildthyme, I loved and loathed her as one of my most favourite people in the universe, but you are not Iris, you're just wearing the skin of her last incarnation like most people wear a pair of borrowed boots"

"Is that what you really think Doctor" Bianca got closer to The Doctor, positioning her face close to his.

The Doctor winced slightly and handed Bianca the bullet shaped device. He got up from his seat and turned his back on Bianca.

"Do with it as you will but understand this, if you ever try to come back to this universe wearing my friend's face, I'll make you wish you hadn't"

A chill ran through Bianca's body, he had changed so much. She felt like she should warn him, tell him what exactly she saw, maybe offer him a way out. Bianca took a revolver out of her purse as The Doctor started to walk away, she loaded the bullet device into it.

"Doctor!" Bianca shouted

The Doctor turned to see Bianca pointing the loaded revolver to her arm.

"Once it enters it'll determine my place of origin and return me there"

The Doctor looked angry and bored, Bianca guessed that he didn't want to spend a second more in her company. Yet with everything they had been through she had to end this properly.

"No matter what you might have thought of me in the past, I'm not that person anymore, circumstance has changed me for the worse and I realise I will never be able to atone for what I did but... you were always my favourite person in the multiverse, how could you not be. Something is coming, I saw it and it is vast and wrong. Please, leave this universe while you still have a choice"

Bianca fired the gun.


	3. Chapter 3

Searing agony flowed through Bianca's body as she awoke on the floor of what seemed to be a cave. It didn't feel like she was in the Obverse, this place wasn't at all familiar to her and yet something felt strangely nostalgic about the cave. The bullet wound to Bianca's arm had sealed itself, the bullet lay on the ground beside her. Its power cell was spent, only enough energy to send her from one universe to another.

Noticing the soft, subtle glow of a fire illuminating the back wall of the cave, Bianca slowly got to her feet and made her way deeper into the cave. Bianca felt exhausted, the nerves in her legs still had the lingering feeling of pain running through them. She needed to find out where she was before she could sit down. She needed to find out how far she had come.

First Bianca saw the flame, it was bright orange but it had a peculiar green glow to its centre. Just like most flames did in Saga City. If Bianca wasn't on her home planet then she'd put money that she was on some alternate version of it. Bianca then saw a young man dressed in tattered black rags, he had a pony tail and he was warming his hands by the fire. He was completely oblivious to Bianca's presence. He looked as if he was in shock, staring rather frighteningly across the room at a black skull cap.

Bianca cleared her throat perhaps a little too loudly. The man jumped to his feet almost scared out of his mind.

"I thought everyone was dead" He hissed at Bianca

"Everyone?" Bianca questioned

"I thought everyone burned, I saw everyone burnt" The young man replied quite dazed

"What Happened?"

The young man approached Bianca "I burned them" He boasted as he looked her in the eye.

Rage flowed through Bianca's veins. Was it possible that this crazed young man had murdered the Clockworks. Unthinkable but there was something about the man that seemed incredibly familiar. The eyes, the tone of his voice, the arrogance.

The man must've recognised something about Bianca as well as the next sentence out of his mouth was "Have we met before?"

Now Bianca was sure of the man's identity, though she couldn't believe it.

"Iris Wildthyme!" He blurted out "No, no Bianca, that's what you're going by in that body isn't it?"

"Doctor?" Bianca couldn't quite believe what she just said but it made sense to her in a mad sort of symmetrical way

"Please my dear, "Doctor" is so two millennia ago, call me The Valeyard"

The End?


End file.
